October 21, 2013

Update on the Santos Times

What a grey day!

The candles are lit to bring a bit of warmth to the the darkness. But even in all the fog and grey of this day the sun is shining.

I can't see it. I can't feel it, but somewhere above the thick layer of clouds it is shining.

I remember...

For you are all children of light, children of the day. We are not of the night or of the darkness. 1 Thess 5:5

We finished our counseling session.

I was right. It was more like boot camp than a retreat. Tough stuff.

It was five long days of intense work chipping away at a thick wall built between Mr. Santos and I.

Who built that wall? We did, of course, brick by brick. Each brick meant to protect ourselves from pain or meant to cause pain. How sad.

A relationship full of happy hopes as one has turned into two separate, lonely, parallel lives.

It was a productive week. We learned how the walls were built and what they were made of ~ bitterness, pride, and lies ~ lies that sounded so much like truth.

But, it was also a sad week ~ a heavy, sad week. Mr. Santos decided that, for now, he would prefer to remain separate rather than to work on bringing down the walls.

I don't know what the future holds, probably a job outside the home, weekends without my children, dividing the holidays.

Quietly, I think on these things and wonder.

I am thankful. Thankful that I know what the future will NOT hold.

It will not hold Fear, Confusion, Hate, or Bitterness. I forgive Mr. Santos. I know that My God is a good provider and that He will take care of me. This is not just a bunch of words. I am confident in this. It is my hope. It is my sure foundation.

I will share more with you on how My Father has shown such gentle kindness to me and to our family.


10 comments:

  1. Wow. I'm so sorry to read this! Praying for you all <3

    Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the Lord. ~ Psalm 31

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  2. I can't begin to tell you how much you encourage me, dear sister. My prayers are with you, as always.

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  3. Laura, I am so sorry that you are going through this. The Lord is in charge and He knows what He wants for both of you and will protect your kids. I will pray for the situation and that hearts will soften on both sides. I will put the kids in also so they are not felt to be pawns in the struggles of the parents.

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  4. I am so sorry for your trials. I do hope you can still find healing in your marriage. I am praying for you. Be malleable. Be willing to change when your husband won't. Be willing to be unforgiven and yet forgive. Be courageous. Be willing to love when you don't feel loved. Your Family is worth saving even if it means suffering. If nothing else, do it for your children.

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  5. I am sorry. I was thinking of you the last two weeks and praying for God's guidence in your tough time. I will keep praying for you and what needs to be done in the coming days.

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  6. Hello, I wanted to say thank you for leaving me a comment on the apron giveaway! But as I read this last post I wanted to comment back to you.
    I want to encourage you in this time of struggle, this is one thing I see immediately is this; you went to this final last effort, about breaking down the walls. God will honor that...
    I want to hear from you again! I am sending my prayers to Our Father in your behalf.
    Blessings, Roxy

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  7. Thank you Laura for being so transparent. Jesus is giving you the blessed hope and trust through this difficult time. I pray you are comforted by the Lord's love for you and your dear family. Thinking of you often. You are a woman of faith!

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  8. I read this with sadness but I also read this knowing your deep love for the Lord Jesus Christ and that you will trust Him with all your heart - what ever the future holds He will hold your hand and be with you ever step of the journey. Isn't that such a comfort. In my prayers:))) sending some big <>> and as I know they are always needed at times like this.

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  9. Oh Laura, I'm so very sorry.....I'm so glad you stopped by my blog today, I've thought of you and wondered how you and the kiddos were doing.

    I know you and I NEVER thought we'd be where we are, but we both have the Lord and He will NEVER leave us nor forsake us.

    Love and Hugs sweet friend,
    ~Michele

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  10. My prayers for your marriage, your family and peace are forth coming. May God bless you as you seek Him.

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