October 21, 2013

Update on the Santos Times

What a grey day!

The candles are lit to bring a bit of warmth to the the darkness. But even in all the fog and grey of this day the sun is shining.

I can't see it. I can't feel it, but somewhere above the thick layer of clouds it is shining.

I remember...

For you are all children of light, children of the day. We are not of the night or of the darkness. 1 Thess 5:5

We finished our counseling session.

I was right. It was more like boot camp than a retreat. Tough stuff.

It was five long days of intense work chipping away at a thick wall built between Mr. Santos and I.

Who built that wall? We did, of course, brick by brick. Each brick meant to protect ourselves from pain or meant to cause pain. How sad.

A relationship full of happy hopes as one has turned into two separate, lonely, parallel lives.

It was a productive week. We learned how the walls were built and what they were made of ~ bitterness, pride, and lies ~ lies that sounded so much like truth.

But, it was also a sad week ~ a heavy, sad week. Mr. Santos decided that, for now, he would prefer to remain separate rather than to work on bringing down the walls.

I don't know what the future holds, probably a job outside the home, weekends without my children, dividing the holidays.

Quietly, I think on these things and wonder.

I am thankful. Thankful that I know what the future will NOT hold.

It will not hold Fear, Confusion, Hate, or Bitterness. I forgive Mr. Santos. I know that My God is a good provider and that He will take care of me. This is not just a bunch of words. I am confident in this. It is my hope. It is my sure foundation.

I will share more with you on how My Father has shown such gentle kindness to me and to our family.


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