But Sunday the sun was shining. I drove home from church amidst the bright orange and red trees, the sky a bright blue with puffy white clouds gathering. What a lovely Fall Day it was.
I should have been rejoicing and praising God, but instead tears rolled down my cheeks.
I complained to the Lord because of the conviction I felt from the message given at church.
"But Lord! Your hand is so heavy on me! Again, you are pointing out where I am wrong. Again, I see my sin, but what about THEM? They are so mean! They think it is O.K. to treat me cruelly. They are unreasonable."
"Do you really want me to turn the other cheek? Do you really expect me to pray for them and love them?"
Hate threatened to bubble to the surface as I thought, "The injustice of it all!"
How Patient and Kind my Lord is with me. He reminded me of what He endured on the cross.
I made a pot of tea and a piece of toast when I got home. The house was a cluttered mess around me. A little butter, a little blackberry jam. I warmed my hands on my mug and noticed the worn copy of "My Utmost for His Highest" on the side table.
Opening it, I read:
We do not need the grace of God to withstand crises—human nature and pride are sufficient for us to face the stress and strain magnificently. But it does require the supernatural grace of God to live twenty-four hours of every day as a saint, going through drudgery, and living an ordinary, unnoticed, and ignored existence as a disciple of Jesus. It is ingrained in us that we have to do exceptional things for God—but we do not. We have to be exceptional in the ordinary things of life, and holy on the mean streets, among mean people—and this is not learned in five minutes. ~ O.C.
While this settled my mind to obedience, I still felt overwhelmed with the heaviness.
How Patient and Kind my Lord is with me! He gently comforted me with the reminder that He is coming soon.
For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first: Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord. Wherefore comfort one another with these words. 1 Thess 4:16-18
I thanked Him for the reminder and set myself to cleaning up the house. Soon after, I came across this little bit from "Streams in the Desert."
The words often on Jesus' lips in His last days express vividly the idea, "going to the Father." We, too, who are Christ's people, have vision of something beyond the difficulties and disappointments of this life. We are journeying towards fulfillment, completion, expansion of life. We, too, are "going to the Father." Much is dim concerning our home-country, but two things are clear. It is home, "the Father's House." It is the nearer presence of the Lord. We are all wayfarers, but the believer knows it and accepts it. He is a traveller, not a settler. ~ R. C. Gillie
Sometimes life is overwhelming because I am seeking satisfaction in the here and now. But this is not my real home and the trials put me in remembrance.
Whatever your cares are today, cast them upon the Lord. He cares for you and will answer all your questions. Trust Him!