STRUGGLED I tell you!
My jobs: Wife, Mother, Homemaker.
Part of my struggle, I think, comes in not having been trained. Growing up, for me, was survival rather than preparing. But God, in His Mercy is always preparing. Through the years, He has given me a vision. Working all things together for good, He has allowed me to see a bigger picture.
As the homemaker, I set the "temperature" of my home.
As the wife, I help Mr. Santos to accomplish all that God wants him to do and be.
As the mother, I create and shape future generations.
There it is before me. Instead of just the pebbles at my feet, I can see the great grand mountains.
But rather than rejoice in the magnificence of it all, I cower in fear. I can't do it! It is too high and lofty. Pride and selfishness rush in. I would rather be a carefree single person, doing and going wherever I pleased. Mountain climbing is hard, and tiring and these mountains, especially, seem impossible to climb.
google image of Yosemite
What an impossibility to set the temperature in my home for kindness or patience or joy when the children are bickering and ungrateful.
It's a treacherous hike uphill to help Mr. Santos when he wants to lead the family where I don't want to go.
Narrow and steep is the path of being a mother, when lessons have to be repeated a zillion times and it seems like nothing I do or say is being heard.
Self sits on the throne of my life and starts issuing decrees.
"We don't have time for all this nonsense! This mess is too big, I don't have time to deal with it! If we do that, then we won't have any time to do this!"
Is Time my problem?
No. The throne of my life.
That is where the real struggle is. Whose life is this anyway?
"I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me." Galatians 2:20
"Be not conformed to this world, but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God." Romans 12:2
God is the one who has called me. "For (I am) his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that (I) should walk in them." Ephesians 2:10
"And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;" Colossians 3:23
But ye, brethren, be not weary in well doing. 2 Thess 3:13