I have been mostly content. I see that God is in control of what I have and don't have. If I need it (or even want it) I ask and wait and receive...or not. It is usually easy for me to go without and "make due".
But being envious? No, not really, not me.
But God's Word is "a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart."
And also, "The refining pot is for silver, and the furnace for gold: but the LORD trieth the hearts." That means The LORD himself, will bring to surface the dross - the mess - the sin and yuckiness in my heart.
Why does he do this? To accuse and condemn? No. There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus. But He is making me, conforming me into His image. He who began a good work in me will be faithful to complete it.
I have struggled for years with one person who provokes me to no end. It is a relationship I cannot avoid. I have suffered false accusations, injustice, abuse, plain meanness and even humiliation.
But the LORD says...
"Love your enemies"
"Pray for those who spitefully use you."
"If your enemy is hungry, give him something to eat. If he is thirsty, give him something to drink."
"For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places."
These are hard lessons to learn, But with God all things are possible. Right? Right? Then why was I having such a hard time doing them?
Envy. Envy can keep you from learning these lessons, from obeying God's commands."Lord," I prayed one hard night, "I want to obey you. I want to love this person and forgive. But I am just full of HATE. Help me."
Gently, I heard his reply. "The Lord shall fight for you and you shall hold your peace." Ex 14:14
"I know Lord, You've said that before. But I don't trust you." The hate in my heart started to bubble. I continued praying, "You are so merciful. You will not give him what he deserves! You are so patient and kind...look how he gets away with so much. You give him so many chances. And I have to suffer for it while you patiently wait for his repentance!"
Gently, "Laura, my Mercy is given to whoever I will. You have benefited from my mercy. Even now you are benefiting from it."
And then, The LORD reminded me of THREE Bible stories that I have heard a 'million' times. They revealed the jealousy in my heart. I was full of envy...and this is why I could not love and forgive this person.
Would you like to know what those stories are? Stay tuned...
Wherefore laying aside all malice, and all guile, and hypocrisies, and envies, and all evil speakings, As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby: If so be ye have tasted that the Lord is gracious. 1 Peter 2:1-3