June 27, 2010

Thinking like a man or a woman?

Sometimes being a wife and mother is just TOO MUCH! I feel like I can't do it anymore, or that I am failing miserably, or that surely any other woman could do a much better job with these littles and this man than me.

But as I sit quietly and ponder what I was created for and especially HOW I was created, I have hope. I am fearfully and wonderfully made...as a woman.

When I am overwhelmed by my job, I am usually thinking about it the way a man thinks about his job. This is more common than you know...feminism invades every nook and cranny of our culture. To be masculine is to compete and conquer. To be feminine is to nurture and be dependent.

I am fearfully and wonderfully made to be feminine.

This gives me hope and strength for my future.

Being feminine is more than wearing a dress and make-up. It is about relationships. Women are relationship experts. We instinctively know what will please or provoke our men and children. We can make unpleasant situations bearable. We have great influence and strength when it comes to the mood of our home ~ able to tear it down or build it up.

Men cannot do what we can do. We can do most of what they can do...work to conquer and achieve. But if we do, then we are not free to use our feminine nature to improve our homes and our culture.

When I apply the "go and conquer" attitude to my daily chores, I am easily frazzled ~ especially when there are interruptions. Are there children around? Then there are bound to be interruptions. Relationships interrupt tasks.

These thoughts go deep and wide, but I am merely thinking of my daily chores. What does it matter if I have checked off my list when I have shunned my children in order to do so? What does it matter if I painted the bathroom and got all the shopping done if I forgot my lonely elderly neighbor in my busyness? My husband may come home to a spotless house with dinner on the table, but if my attitude is "Now pay me my wages" (ex: requiring thanks or "me-time") then I am not being feminine.

To be feminine is to nurture relationships in our daily chores, even through our daily chores. It is the man that goes out to compete, make demands and deals. Women bestow praise and inspire and guide. We do all this to comfort others.

Today, instead of trying to prove my worthiness (competing) I will just BE worthy. I will BE beautiful and kind and helpful. Competition and Conquering is for men. It is masculine.

The Scriptures confirm these thoughts on femininity~

Well reported of for good works; if she have brought up children, if she have lodged strangers, if she have washed the saints' feet, if she have relieved the afflicted, if she have diligently followed every good work 1 Timothy 5:10

That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed Titus 2

The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so [are] abomination unto the LORD thy God.

Even the Proverbs 31 woman, with her long list of accomplishments, does all things for the sake of her relationships.

"There are Europeans who confuse the various characteristics of the sexes and would make men and women beings not only equal but alike. To both, they
attribute the same functions equally, impose on them the same duties and grant them the same rights. They would involve them both in everything – work, pleasure, business. It is easy to see that, in this ambition to make the one sex equal to the other, both are demeaned and that, from the crude mixing of nature’s works, will emerge weak men and immodest women."

Alexis de Tocqueville, Democracy in America (1830's)


  1. Such a beautiful post this is! You're written your thought so well and I so agree with you, my friend. Very encouraging!I was reminded of my little post on May 9:" A flower..and A Salute to All Women".

  2. What a wonderful blog you have, and this post is just brilliant. Of course, I agree with what you are saying, but such a thought-provoking way of putting it all. Thank you for sharing. I will come back and visit often!


  3. Mrs. Santos,

    Your post reminded me of a dvd entitled, "What Is Biblical Femininity," that I watched yesterday while folding the laundry. It discussed, similarly, some of the excellent truths that you have stated so eloquently in your post.

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. You truly are a woman of God who is determined to display true biblical femininity in order to bring glory to the Lord.

    ~Mrs. Lady Sofia~

  4. Hi Ruth~ I couldn't find your post. I would love it if you would email me the link though.

    Hello Stacy~ We look forward to your visits! So nice to meet you.

    Mrs. LS~ A friend was JUST telling me about that recording. I will borrow it and listen. I bet I would learn alot and thank you for mentioning it. Love to you all


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