June 18, 2010

He loves me, I am His child.

I have to go to the Dollar Store.

Noah has begun "working for a farm." He's so funny. He came to me late last night ~just before bed~ to ask me for work so he could earn money to buy a farm.

"A farm?" I asked.

"Yeah, Mom, you know, with cows and chickens and a dog and stuff."

"A toy farm or a real one?"

Noah said, "Why would I want a toy farm? I want a real farm!"

"Oh. Well, if you want to make money, you have to ask your dad. I don't have any money to pay you. But, if you finish the laundry for me, I can spare fifty cents?" I said.

"Cool!" Noah rushed to his work and earned his fifty cents. So, now he needs a piggy bank and that is why I am going to the Dollar Store.

Knowing of my errand, Noah came to me with another request. "Momma, when you go to the Dollar Store, can you also get me a little toy...just a little one...just one that I would like?"

Oh my gosh, he was so cute. The way he waved his hands when he said "just a little one" and the way he cocked his head to the side...He looked so innocent and adorable. I replied, "I'll see what I find, maybe."

He hugged my neck and ran out the door to play.

It's times like this that make me just want to give the world to that kid. My boy.

If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him? Matthew 7:11

God loves us! God loves me. Sometimes I feel like such a mess-up, what with my snippiness and ungratefulness and jealousies. Can God really love me? Sure, I know all about the "God so loved the world...etc", but does he love ME?

Yes, Yes, He does.
"Go home and say over and over to yourself, 'I am a wayward foolish child. But He loves me! I have disobeyed and grieved Him ten thousand times over. But He loves me! I have lost faith in some of my dearest friends and am very desolate. But He loves me! I do not love Him, I am very angry with Him! But He loves me!'

I came away, and all the way home I fought this battle with myself,saying 'He loves me!' I knelt down to pray, and all my wasted, childish, wicked life came and stared me in the face. I looked at it and said with tears of joy,"But He loves me!" Never in my life did I feel so rested, so quieted, so sorrowful, and yet so satisfied.
from Stepping Heavenward


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. Hi Laura. I love this post. It was so heartfelt and hopeful or hope inspiring (is that a thing?) anyway, I don't know how to say what I want. Maybe just - it gave me hope?.

    Love you.

    PS - this also made me MISS my nephew so much. And it made me wish I knew him in his daily life. Please give him a HUGE hug and loud smacking kiss and then tell him it's from his auntie because she loves him from far away. Did he get a toy?

  3. Hi Lisa~ no he didn't get a toy, but I bought him some licorice. He loved it.


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