Upstairs, is another storm. The brows furrowed, the fists shut tight, the teeth clenched. She is fighting her will. "O.K. Mom." That's all she has to say. No, not with a sneer. No, not with a stamped foot. Just a peaceful "O.K. Mom." The storm rages.
I hold my head in my hands. My heart is heavy for the souls of my children. How do I lead these little ones?
How does the Lord lead me?
If ye love me, keep my commandments. John 14:15
He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: vs 21
Jesus answered..."But that the world may know that I love the Father, and as the Father gave me commandment, even so I do." John 14:31
I trust in the Lord with all my heart, and lean not on my own understanding, in all my ways I acknowledge him and he makes my paths straight.
"Come this way."
"Don't do that."
My will stands up, slams down the fist, "I object! NO! I will go left!" A storm rages, loud, fierce and scary.
"Give it away."
My will quietly questions, "Yeah, but..." "What about...?" "It's mine..." The wind comes up, the sky darkens, the thunder crashes.
Whom do I love more? The Lord God or myself?
Psalm 106:15 "And he gave them their request; but sent leanness into their soul."
If I give her what she wants will she be O.K.? Where do I draw the line? Are my expectations too high? What does she want? She wants her will at all times. She wants to question and argue. She wants to prove that she can see things more clearly than Mom. No, I cannot give her what she wants. It is dangerous out there. "My son hear the instruction of your father and do not forsake the law of your mother" Proverbs 1:8
Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools, v22
God didn't force them to obey. Eventually, he let them have their way.
Wherefore God also gave them up...gave them up to what?
He gave them up to uncleanness (vs 24) to vile affections (vs 26) to a reprobate mind (vs 28) NO! I don't want that...for myself or my children.
Lord, please don't give me up to my own will. Help me to be more like you, more like your Son, Jesus, who did and does only Your will. Help me to be diligent and patient and kind to my children and not to give them up to their will - at least not yet, while they are still in my care, while they are still young enough to train. Show me how to love them, that we would enjoy one another. Please calm the storms in our hearts and in our home. Thank you for the storm outside. Your Word says that you ride on the wings of the wind...even in all that 'gloominess' you are there. You are in control. Thank you.