November 05, 2009

Stormy Day

Here I sit, the wind howling, the waves crashing, the trees bending in the storm. The fire crackles in the fireplace.

Upstairs, is another storm. The brows furrowed, the fists shut tight, the teeth clenched. She is fighting her will. "O.K. Mom." That's all she has to say. No, not with a sneer. No, not with a stamped foot. Just a peaceful "O.K. Mom." The storm rages.

I hold my head in my hands. My heart is heavy for the souls of my children. How do I lead these little ones?

How does the Lord lead me?

If ye love me, keep my commandments. John 14:15

He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: vs 21

Jesus answered..."But that the world may know that I love the Father, and as the Father gave me commandment, even so I do." John 14:31

~oOo~

I trust in the Lord with all my heart, and lean not on my own understanding, in all my ways I acknowledge him and he makes my paths straight.

"Turn right."
"O.K. Lord."
"Come this way."
"Yes, Lord"
"Don't do that."
"O.K. Lord."

My will stands up, slams down the fist, "I object! NO! I will go left!" A storm rages, loud, fierce and scary.

"Forgive him."
"O.K. Lord"
"Give it away."
"Yes, Lord"
"Tell them"
"O.K. Lord"

My will quietly questions, "Yeah, but..." "What about...?" "It's mine..." The wind comes up, the sky darkens, the thunder crashes.

Whom do I love more? The Lord God or myself?

~oOo~
Psalm 106:15 "And he gave them their request; but sent leanness into their soul."

If I give her what she wants will she be O.K.? Where do I draw the line? Are my expectations too high? What does she want? She wants her will at all times. She wants to question and argue. She wants to prove that she can see things more clearly than Mom. No, I cannot give her what she wants. It is dangerous out there. "My son hear the instruction of your father and do not forsake the law of your mother" Proverbs 1:8

Romans 1

Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools, v22

God didn't force them to obey. Eventually, he let them have their way.

Wherefore God also gave them up...gave them up to what?

He gave them up to uncleanness (vs 24) to vile affections (vs 26) to a reprobate mind (vs 28) NO! I don't want that...for myself or my children.

~oOo~

Lord, please don't give me up to my own will. Help me to be more like you, more like your Son, Jesus, who did and does only Your will. Help me to be diligent and patient and kind to my children and not to give them up to their will - at least not yet, while they are still in my care, while they are still young enough to train. Show me how to love them, that we would enjoy one another. Please calm the storms in our hearts and in our home. Thank you for the storm outside. Your Word says that you ride on the wings of the wind...even in all that 'gloominess' you are there. You are in control. Thank you.

3 comments:

  1. It's hard to be strong when they want their own way. You are a good Mom! Don't worry about having too high of expectations. If they aren't high, where are they going to reach?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Mrs. Santos,

    Wow! What a moving and sincere post. It's as if you were making a prayer to God! You have such faith and strength in the Lord. Oh, you may think you are weak, but you are not, for I wish I had half the integrity and faith in the Lord as you do.

    Anyway, I hope you and your family are staying blessed by the Lord, and that your husband is succeeding well in his English class (I think it was an English class??). One of these days, I will send you an email.

    I miss you.

    Love,

    Mrs. Lady Sofia

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thank you O.M. for your encouragement. I never thought of it that way...something to reach for.

    Mrs. L.S. it is nice to hear from you again. We are doing well and I miss you too. :)

    ReplyDelete

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