April 06, 2009

Giving when it hurts

I made a new years resolution this year in faith. I didn't necessarily want to make it. I had asked the Lord, eager to please Him and follow the path that He would have me on, "what should I resolve to do or be this year?" He made his suggestion and I said "O.K. I resolve to do that." I would practice 'sacrificial giving' this year. I would give - even if I had nothing to give. I would learn to give out of my need.

HA!

Well, it turned out to be too difficult so I gave it up.

But the Lord, He just loves us so. He knows what is best for us and He is ever making us into something glorious. "Nope. I will finish the work I have begun in you." So, I am back to learning.

At times I am sick and tired, overwhelmed with all that has to be done. My children call out. They have conflicts with friends and siblings and need direction. They have schoolwork that is too difficult to understand. They want to PLAY with me...play? Are you kidding me? They are disobedient and need discipline. I have nothing to give - no ideas, no energy, no desire.

But then this resolution comes back to my mind. I see the widow give her mites and hear Jesus praising her for giving out of her need. I want to please the Lord and I want to be a good example for my children.

2 Cor 12:9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

The husband is busy. He has been busy for a long time. It has been a million years since we've had a good conversation. In fact the last time we talked for more than 10 minutes was full of commands and a few criticisms. At first, I feel hurt and lonely. If I continue on the selfish path I become irritated, then angry and bitter. I feel I have nothing to give, especially intimacy. We've all been there, but God's Word is clear.

Let no man seek his own, but every man another's [wealth]. 1 cor 10:24

Love... Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; 1 Cor 13:5

Philippians 2:4-7 Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant,

A sick family needs a meal. The neighbor kids ask if they could stay for dinner - AGAIN. The church is having a bake sale and needs contributions. There are weddings and birthday's to attend and I wonder how on earth we will come up with a suitable and loving gift.

The Lord is Great and Mighty - Powerful to save and to give to us. What do we have anyway, but what He gives us? Will I trust Him or will I just try to satisfy myself? Will I look at what I have and say - sorry, I have nothing to give? Or, will I be like the boy with his sack lunch? If God can turn a small lunch into enough to feed thousands, then He can take my efforts to provide for my husband and children and neighbors and make it abundant.

Stand firm in the faith!

2 comments:

  1. This was a good Blog. I may not have always commented on those like this one, but I always enjoyed and looked forward to reading them. You are an excellent writer, and your ability to share honestly, candidly - it is something that helped me to try to be more purpose driven and remember what matters and strive to be more then what I am.

    Anyway - I don't know what I'm saying, that is, I can't say it as well as you, but I will miss these.
    Don't think because no comments came that they weren't meaningful to us, your readers.

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  2. Yes. A good blog. Love you laura. I don't read all your posts... have to confess that. But I miss you and read this one and I am so touched by how honest and transparent this blog is. Thanks for sharing. I praise God with you in how much He has his hand on you and your life and Yes, how much he loves you. Keep the faith sister!! Cause it is all for His Glory. Man, I can't wait to see your crown in Heaven.

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